Relationships

"Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies.
Will they?
Won't they?
And then they finally do and then they're happy forever.
Give me a break.
Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with and half of the ones that get married get divorced anyway. And I'm telling you, right now, through all of this stuff, I have not become a cynic. I haven't.
Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, you know, in some cultures a chicken. You can call me a sucker; i don't care. Cuz I do... believe in it. Bottom line is.. couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else. But the big difference is they don't let it take 'em down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time- if it's right and they're REAL lucky."

Bravo. Well spoken. This is a quote by, believe it or not, Dr. Cox from Scrubs. Yeah. I know. How fucking lame. But hear me out.

Recently I've become a fan of Scrubs. I've been downloading episodes and watching them. When I came across this episode and heard the above quote in it I immediately paused it, hit rewind and opened up Word so that I could type it out. Why? Well I happen to agree with almost every word of it. Let me put it in context for you...

The first few lines are self explanatory. Obviously, and I truly hope there is no one out there disagreeing, relationships are NOT like on television and in movies.
Next, divorce rates ARE ridiculously high. Properly calculated, divorce statistics are not exactly at 50%. They are at a miniscule 41%. Yes I was being sarcastic. 41% is still way too fucking much. Seriously. Check it out for yourself: http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html

Now, the candies and the chicken... well I don't know if this line lost a lot of you, but I knew exactly what it meant as soon as he said it. He's referring to those thing that in a relationship, in accordance to the nature of that relationship, are the responsibilities of each person in the relationship. If I lost you just go back and re read it. In a marriage where the man works and the wife raises the children- the man better god damn work hard enough to sustain the family and the wife better god damn raise the children well. They should both also cater to each others needs. If the man comes home from a long day at work and wants some ass, honestly don't think of me as a pig just yet, I think the wife should be there to cater to that need and maybe have dinner ready too. BUT- if the husband comes home from a long fucking day at work and finds his wife exhausted from a long day of cooking and cleaning he should be ready to cater to her needs. Offer to watch the kids the rest of the evening or hell, call a babysitterfor the kids and take the wife out to dinner. Buy her a nice gift. I dunno.. it's easier to explain the expectancies I will have of my wife than those she will have of me (that's because I haven't met her yet). But I hope when the day comes we're both good at communicating our needs to each other. My point is- both husband and wife have to do their part and be attentive to each others needs. (Also, this was an example. I understand that the nature of one relationship compared to the next will always differ, but this was the most obvious and easiest example to use.)

Alright. This entry is getting way too long and I got a bit carried away with that last paragraph, so I'll be brief with the rest. Now what I described above sounded more like a contract between two people. And it is. Really. But for this contract to work there is one more element which must not go missing. Love. Yes I too believe in it. I believe that the day when I find a woman and can tell her everything about myself; all the good and especially the bad, and she can still want to be with me, and visa versa of course, then I will have truly found love. If your REAL lucky and you've found that person and you both willingly follow through with your responsibilities in accordance to the nature of your relationship then when disagreements come up you'll both be in a position to make things work. Because no matter how intense the disagreement may be, one of the two, if not both, will always find a way to agree.

ReneRuizJ